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This Post Does Not Make Me Look Good

February 1, 2013

Once upon a time, a boy and a girl fell in love.  And they went on dates and took vacations or weekends away and generally enjoyed each other’s company, even when that company spent 9 hours on a Sunday watching football.  In true form of all people who don’t have kids, they laughed at parents who seemed to forget about their relationship and their interests and their lives in the wake of infancy and toddlerhood.  And then, they had a kid and God laughed at them.

Ryan is nearly two years old.  I stayed home with him for a year.  And truthfully, most days I forget I have a husband.  Not because I don’t love him.  Not because I find my parenting skills to be superior.  Not because I find him to be disposable.  Simply because the daily grind keeps me too damn busy to think about anything but the task at hand, the list of tasks to be completed, and the toddler whose fondness for the toilet and garbage can has resulted in many a missing set of keys or wallet.  And so, I feel that it’s appropo that February be dedicated to Dan.

The goals:
1. Be nicer
You’d think that I had a masters in nagging.  I don’t know what it is about parenting and working that makes me even more short tempered and impatient than normal, but it’s not particularly fair.  So I need to stop.  That’s the long and short of it.

2. Listen to him
In my desperate search for 3 minutes where I don’t have to intensely focus on what is being said to me, I tend to tune Dan out when he’s speaking.  Again, not fair, especially when he listens to my endless and repetitive ranting about the same things.  Which brings me to my next point…

3. Stop dumping all my annoyances and frustrations on him
I have a propensity for doing 1 of 2 things: blabbering on and on to Dan about the same topic I whined about the day before, or flipping out on him because I am frustrated or angry about the same topics that I’m trying not to complain about yet again.  I basically need to build a bridge and get over myself.

4. Fight fair.
I hold in nasty, sarcastic comments all. day. long.  It’s a hazard of working directly with 65 7th graders and among 700 of them on a daily basis.  Sadly, when I come home it’s like I have Biting Sarcasm Tourettes.  Again, not fair (sense a theme here?).  And when I’m not sarcastically snapping something, I’m doing my best Kristen Stewart and silently scowling while waiting for Dan to pry information out of me.  Truly.  Complete with an eye-rolling, “NOOOOTHING” in response to the innocent, “What’s wrong?” question.  Time to take a deep breath and say what I mean while not being mean while I say it.

5. Tokens of gratitude
Because who doesn’t love presents?

So that’s how I plan to improve my marriage is 28 short days.  Fingers crossed it goes as well as January!

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